Positive parenting and montessori for toddlers
21/01/2013 § Leave a comment
My mum is trying to create “opportunities” for Am to contribute in meaningful ways from an early age by getting her involved in household chores. It’s also said that when a child is given more responsibility, they gain independence and self reliance faster. One article that I’ve chances upon, highlights an extremely important point. The avoidance of the “contingency”:
” Contingent children are dependent on others for how they feel about themselves. Some parents want to foster this dependence. These parents act on their own needs for power and use control and coercion to ensure that they remain the dominant forces in their children’s lives. Contingent children can be recognized in the following ways:
Depend on others to provide them with incentive to achieve.
Depend on others for their happiness because they have no ownership of their lives and little responsibility for their own thoughts, emotions, and actions.
Reinforced with inappropriate rewards and no limits, and regardless of their behavior.
Poor decision makers because their parents hold the belief that they always know what is best and make decisions without soliciting their children’s wishes.”
However, if independence is gain, they will grow up believing they are competent and capable of taking care of themselves. They grow up more confident and become good decision makers.
“Independence is not something that your children can gain on their own. They have neither the perspective, experience, nor skills to develop independence separately from you. Rather, it is a gift you give your children that they will cherish and benefit from their entire lives. You can provide your child with several essential ingredients for gaining independence:
Give your children love and respect.
Show confidence in your children’s capabilities.
Teach them that they have control over their lives.
Provide guidance and then give them the freedom to make their own decisions.”